keenly distressing to the feelings: poignant regret. 2.
keen or strong in mental appeal: a subject of poignant interest. 3.
affecting or moving the emotions: a poignant scene.
My niece, Cindi, called me at 1:30 this morning. Danae's big sister. Cindy told me at the funeral that even though she was 17 and Danae was 13, that Danae was her strength and that she didn't know what she was going to do without her.
Cindi had been looking at this website and when she got to my February 6 entry, she said she couldn't believe it:
i still find it hard to think about anything but her ...
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
She said, " Aunt Pam, I can't believe you put this verse. Like two weeks after all this happened my Aunt Cindy bought me the same bible that Danae read from ( the revolve devotional bible) and some how I came across this verse. I underlined it and I later read it to my mom over the phone. I have returned to this verse a thousand times since for comfort. Isn't it funny how the Lord works?"
I was so glad she called me.
Today, she emailed me these words ... her thoughts. With her permission, I share them with you.
I haven't had the courage to talk about this until now.Danae is my best friend. She has been for the last 13+ years. I use the presence tense because no one ever will or can be the friend she was for me. We were unusually close for sisters, no one understood it but us. We were constantly holding hands, she would sit on my lap, or we would just sit there with our limbs intertwined. I know it sounds odd or perverse but its because we loved each other so much we just never could get close enough.I have a chemical imbalance that prevents me from feeling happy. I still laugh and joke and have a good time, but there is always this feeling deep inside my chest that causes me to be feel depressed and irritable. When Danae would put her arm around me and take my hand the sadness left. It was like she was the part of me that was constantly happy and optimistic. I felt a peace when we were together that the rest of the world had cheated us out of. We had a lot of sadness in the beginning of our life, and it wasnt till these last couple of years we really got close, but we felt the same pain through all of that. So when things got better i think thats what drew us even closer. I would give ANYTHING to have her hold my hand just one more time.I lost my happy half. This is so much harder because when i was sad, she was there to help me through it. When i get hugs i dont feel the same understanding and love as when Danae would comfort me. Brothers aren't the same as sister. Other sisters aren't like Danae. She was the most important thing in the world to me, when i lost all my friends, when i moved away from all my family, when i wasnt even wanted in my own house she stayed faithful as my best friend.I dont know if I'll ever find the happiness she gave on earth again, but there is one thing that keeps me strong and together. My Faith. Because when i leave this earth i have all of eternity to look foward to with Danae. We'll snuggle, and hold hand, and embrace all over again. And every one from Adam, to Noah, to Zacchaeus will talk about how weird the closeness of our relationship is but it won't matter. I'll be SO HAPPY again.Thank you for giving me something to look foward to Nae Nae.To the friends and family, stay strong and don't morn forever. Because this was just the beginning of the time we'll have to spend with her. Together forever in heaven with no pain or sorrow. I can't wait.live every day like it was your last, to the fullest and full of faith<3 loving sister,best friend for life and then some,Cindi Marie