Lv2Scrp

Two Years

I made it through the day.
But thoughts of her never left my mind.

Danae Talluto
February 28, 1993 - January 23, 2007

I still miss you baby :'(

6:12 p.m

-----> today.  I got another one.

twenty-three-and-a-half-months after she was killed.

I still get these emails.

I just got this one three less than three weeks ago.

It's a reason to jump up and down and celebrate really .. and I want to just scream and tell everybody, "isn't it awesome that she has this impact on people?!?"

But first I cry.  Every time.  Every time I open my inbox and I see that someone has sent me an email about Danae.  It's so ... unexpected.  It's like someone has punched me in the stomach and I literally want to throw up at first.  Oh no, not about the comment, no of course not.  But that, she's gone, and it hits me, like all at once like that.  And I just sob, all over again.  It was so stupid, so unnecessary, so not right.

But then, I cry out to God [again] and instead of it taking me months to sort out in my mind, this time it all falls into place in a matter of minutes, no matter how long the minutes may seem.  Why it happened.  Why it needed to be like this .....................................

To: Pam Talluto
From: Tori
Date: January 4, 2009 6:12 p.m.
Subject: One Year

A new comment from “Tori” was received on the post “One Year” of the weblog “Things About Danae”.
Comment:
Hello, my name is Tori. I'm not sure if you still check up on this site, but I just wanted to tell you how this website has helped me with Danae. The summer before she passed, she was at my house nearly every day with mine and my brothers friends. I really grew to love this girl, she made such a huge impact on my life, and theres no way for me to repay her. She got me closer to God then I could have ever imagined, both in life and death. I still find it hard and heart breaking to think about her, I sit here crying the hardest I have in a long time. I can't even describe it. Do you remember the last thing you said to her in person? I remember screaming "Sorry Nae! I love you" down the hall by the band hall, we were laughing about her part in practice in our theatre arts class. Trying to write about her is so difficult, but you've made this unbelievable website in her memory. It's scary to think thats its been almost two years, part of me still thinks I'm going to see her at school tomorrow. I remember the memorial at Cross Timers very well, to that I am extremely suprised, that day I had been getting my first knee surgery. I was almost not able to attend the memorial, my parents didn't think it would be possible due to my need for sleep and rest. The deal they made was, if you sleep for a few hours and are able to wake up before it, you can go. Determination was the only think I could feel. The promise I made myself remember was Danae promising to come see me after school that day, to check up on me. I'd see her that day, I needed to tell her I love one more time. "Sorry for your losses of both Danae and Beth" do not cover what I would like to say. It's not even close to the strength needed. I hope everyone is okay, I will continue to pray for each and every person affected by these tragities. Just knowing that Danae is watching over everyone she loves makes life better, doesn't it?

....................

To:  Tori
From:  Pam Talluto
Date:  January 4, 2009 9:23 p.m.
Subject:  Danae

Hi Tori .... thank you so much for writing me.  Yes, I know about every single response I get to Danae's website and I respond to every single one.    Every letter and email I get is so precious to me.  I think that is because of two reasons.

First, it helps me to know Danae a little bit better.  In the last few years of her life, she lived in Texas of course (and I live in Michigan).  So I didn't get to see her as much as I would've liked.  But by her friends and acquaintances writing me and telling me stories and little bits and pieces of her life, it helps me know more about her that otherwise I wouldn't have seen.

Second, it amazes me that these many months later (23.5 at this point), Danae's life (and death) is still having such an impact on people.  Like you. Even though people who knew her miss her so much, she just changed their life so much that they just have to write me and tell me about it.  It's amazing and so incredible.  And I love hearing about it!  I love how she made people think about God.  How people are closer to God because of her.  And that was God using her, you know?  So cool.

Almost two years.  I still cry too.  Whenever I hear "How to Save a Life" which was the song playing on the video of her life at the funeral home.  Whenever I first get a letter (like yours) that reminds me again that she's gone.  But then I read it, and re-read it again, and I remember.  This beautiful girl has changed the lives of so many people.  Not only through her life ... but through her death.  This was God's plan for her.  And many people might not understand this: But that makes me happy.  And I KNOW she is happy now!!!!

I got to see Danae's sister Cindi, and her brothers Joe and Marco on Christmas this year.  Cindi and Joe are still in Texas and doing very good, they are living with their step-dad.  Marco moved to Florida, he is living with his dad.  He was the one driving the car, remember?  He's doing very well, he will graduate from high school this year, and is getting a scholarship for college!  I'm attaching a picture which is very precious to me.  I took it on Christmas Day, it's a picture all all the cousins (except for Danae).  Marc and Sara are my two kids :)

Tori, if you go to my blog at http://pamtalluto.typepad.com/ and scroll down to December 20, you'll see another story about a girl named Candace who didn't even know Danae ... it's called [connection].   Danae touched so many people, some she didn't even know :)

Thanks again Tori, so much, for writing me!!

Love, Danae's Aunt Pam

Beanie Babies

Adriana is spending the night.
She found Sara's Beanie Babies :)